Remember all the self-confidence you had as a teenager.
You know, things like sledding down an icy hill, building your own ramps for your bike or skateboard, going on blind dates without a cellphone, seeing how much alcohol you could drink in one night, and getting into cars with strangers. Well, you did all those things partially because you were naïve, but mainly because you were confident that you could handle the situation.
“Stop feeling like you aren’t good enough.”
Oxford defines self-confidence as a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment. You trusted that things would be ok, that you had the ability to handle the outcome (good or bad) and most importantly, you believed in your judgment. You also took risks because that was the only way to live. Your life so far was made up of positive experiences.
What happened to that confident risk taker?
Do you still take those kinds of risks in your life today? If you don’t, then I bet it was because life beat you down and knocked some of that self-confidence right out of you. We’ve all been there. There are so many things that can cause this to happen. Maybe it was because the relationship that you thought would lead to a proposal didn’t and that made you think you weren’t good enough. Or maybe you didn’t get the dream job you interviewed for and made you doubt your abilities. Maybe you lost a job and that crushed you. Maybe someone close to you died and that made you feel like you were lost. Maybe you got divorced, got yourself into debt, ruined your credit, lost the house, insert a number of other horrible scenarios, and you can see why you would question your own judgment. You walked away from one or more of these life-altering events thinking that you could no longer trust yourself. All types of events can chip away at your self-confidence. We start to feel like we don’t have the abilities, qualities, or judgment to make good decisions and be successful.
My Own Confidence Issues
All of the above leads me to why I started to write this article in the first place. It was for the artists that were too reluctant to share their creative side with the world. Realizing that self-confidence benefits everyone I decided to write it for not just artists but also for small business owners and for those too scared to even start a business.
My own lack of self-confidence had prevented me from thinking I was capable of doing what I really wanted to in life. I had talked about it for years and even dabbled a little bit with the idea of starting my own creative business. I got to the point where I registered my company and had to file taxes but then I never did anything with it. I kept falling back on the same negative thoughts, “Who is going to want to buy this?” and “I don’t know how to run a business.”
In the back of my mind, I had a voice that said, “Who does she think she is?” That thought forced me to keep returning year after year to jobs that I didn’t like. It wasn’t until I got older and realized that I’m either following my dream or I’m not that I was able to put that voice to rest. When I did that, my whole world changed.
I just needed to go for it. I had been writing for employers, why not write for me. Start my own business. Be my own boss. I deserve that. I had spent enough time under someone else’s thumb. It was time for me to pursue the type of life I really wanted. I was worth it, but for years my lack of self-confidence didn’t allow me to believe that.
Within a matter of a few months, I launched a whole new career. Accepted the fact that I’m not the next Mark Twain or Picasso but I still have something to offer the world. And yes, some will like it, some will not, but either way the haters won’t get in my way.
Yes, I work harder now than I ever have at any 9-5, but I love it. My day starts at 4:30 am and work doesn’t stop until 9:00 pm, with a few meal breaks and ½ hour of exercise mixed in. It’s worth it. This whole experience of going after my entrepreneurial dreams has even given me confidence in other areas of my life, too. I hold my head up higher and I’m more open to trying new things. I’m doing this for me, for the life I want, and it feels great.
I Stopped Caring About Others’ Opinions.
One day when I was in an art museum critiquing a famous painting, worth millions, and saying under my breath, “I can paint this! These are just a few squiggly lines,” I realized that everyone has an opinion. This artist doesn’t care about my thoughts. They aren’t going to stop painting because Tracy Landry thinks it looks like the work of an 8-year-old. As I proceeded down the corridor another thought popped into my head, “Why should I care about the opinions of others when it comes to my own work; whether it be art, writing, or launching my own business.”
I realized that some people would like my art and some people would think it sucks. I have accepted that. We all have opinions and are entitled to think what we want, and the haters will hate no matter what you do.
Most entrepreneurs have doubts about whether they are going to succeed.
It can be a very scary venture, especially when dealing with investors, banks, and your family’s source of income. There are people around you, from colleagues to family members, telling you your idea isn’t going to work. It is only the strong-willed believers who see their entrepreneurial dreams come true. With all that doubt and negative vibes being thrown your way it can be hard to stay confident in your pursuits.
Having self-doubt is natural.
Everyone does. This is where you need your self-confidence to override those negative, doubting thoughts. Be confident enough to not listen to the naysayers. Think of all those million-dollar businesses that never would have been if the inventors decided to listen to people around them or give in to their own negative thoughts. Everyone thinks out-of-the-box ideas are stupid until they become successful.
Someone decided to sell books online and that became Amazon. Someone else thought it was a good idea to have random people drive around and pick up other random people like a taxi service and they called that Uber. Even post-it notes were once thought to be a bad idea and today they are a staple in every office worldwide. There are a ton of examples that I could list here. I am willing to bet that they were all told at some point in the process by one or more people that their idea was not going to work. That it was a waste of time, money, and effort.
Having confidence does not just pertain to new businesses. It is also for well-established ones who are too scared to take their business to the next level. Think about that mom-and-pop shop that feels social media is too daunting to learn so they continue to lose revenue because they can’t reach a wider audience. Or that inventor who has had success with one product but is too intimidated to release the next product for fear that it won’t do as well as the first. Or the artist who paints in the comfort of her home but won’t enter the art contest or reserve a table at the next craft show. Lastly, the employee who sits behind a desk from 9-5 every day wishing for a different life but is too scared to leave the security of a regular paycheck and is paralyzed by the fear of failure.
What can you do about it?
How do you overcome the negative thoughts, build your self-confidence, and take on the world?
You’re in luck because I came up with a list.
Here is some advice to boost your confidence; whether you are a creative, arty person like me, a corporate office type, or a small business owner, it doesn’t matter because we can all benefit from having more confidence.
- Accept Failure
It’s a part of life and business. Expect that some part of your plan may not work out as you intended. Learn from it. Move on. Rebuild. Refocus. Whatever you do, don’t give up. Find a way to get to the finish line. Don’t let failure or worse the fear of failure consume you and prevent you from even trying. Focus on your outcome. Accept that some things (business ideas, artwork, marketing) will work, and some won’t.
- Stop Negative Thoughts
Stop feeling like you aren’t good enough. Believe that this pursuit is worth it, and you deserve to live your dream. When a negative thought or doubt enters your mind counter that thought with a positive thought. Trust me, the more you practice this, the easier it will get.
- Avoid Opinions
Sometimes when we are unsure of ourselves, we tend to run around and get the opinion of everyone we know as some sort of validation. Let me tell you now- don’t do this! If you are passionate about it, then go for it. Don’t let others talk you out of it.
Listen only to constructive criticism from supportive family, friends, and colleagues. Analyze what they have to say, adjust, and keep proceeding. If you still feel strongly about your dream, then don’t let anyone stop you!
You are just going to have to accept that everyone, whether they voice it to your face or not, is going to have an opinion. Get comfortable with people not liking you, your work, and your ideas.
Pick any famous actor or musician, then go on any of their social media accounts and you will find endless negative comments and opinions about them. You won’t be immune from the scrutiny either.
The bottom line is you need to learn how to ignore the negativity and push on.
- Just Do It
Time and time again I have been stuck in my head, worried about something only to find that once I do it there was no need to worry. We’ve all been there. We build it up in our heads and when it’s over we realize that all that worry was a waste of time.
The more I do, the more confident I feel. Don’t get stagnant! Most people develop a routine and stick with it for years. It’s like Groundhog’s day. Pretty soon the thought of doing anything different becomes scary. You got to break yourself of this habit.
Stepping out of your comfort zone is what builds confidence. The more you do things that scare you, the more fearless you become.
So, go ahead. Do something today that you have postponed due to fear. I guarantee you will hold your head a little higher tomorrow.
- Set Big and Small Goals
Goals can be like resolutions; we set a goal and forget all about it shortly thereafter. Keep a copy of your goals somewhere you can review them often. I have mine in my planner.
They need to be attainable and specific.
To say that I will make a million dollars by the end of the year is not a good goal. I need to define how I will make a million dollars. My goal should be, “I will make a million dollars by the end of the year by selling 100 vacuums a month through my e-commerce store.” Now I can clearly see how this goal is going to be achieved. My small goals could be selling 25 vacuums a week, expanding my social media accounts by 100 new followers a week, or launching a new digital marketing campaign. All these small goals are what is going to drive traffic to my site and result in sales so I can reach my bigger goal of making a million dollars this year.
Here’s another example. I will lose weight before summer. Instead, it should be, “I will lose weight before summer by lifting weights three times a week and riding my bike for 30 mins a day.” This seems so much more attainable now.
Goal setting is crucial in building confidence because it allows you to see exactly how much progress you have made. The small goals keep you on track to be able to successfully achieve the bigger goal. They also provide milestones along your journey of reaching your purpose; whatever that may be.
Seeing your improvement will give you confidence. To be able to say that a year ago I didn’t have a website, a blog, a business, and now a year later after hard work and goal setting, I do is an amazing feeling and has given me more confidence.
Don’t forget to celebrate every step forward. You may not be where you want to be YET, but you are well on your way. What are your goals going to be?
- Start Small and Start Now
It is awesome to have a big goal! It can also be overwhelming. You may ask yourself, “How am I going to do this?” The answer to that is to start small. Remember, set big and small goals.
Don’t be intimidated by your own dreams. The bigger the better I always say. Just start small. You want to be a famous artist, well, start with a local craft show. Find social media for your small business daunting, then start on just one platform.
Whatever your goals, big or small, does not matter. What really matters is that you start NOW! Sit down and think about your dreams, tell that little nagging voice in your head to shut up, and write down what you want to accomplish in life. Set your big and small goals and start now! Don’t wait until Monday, or after the holiday, or once you get back from vacation, or whatever excuse you want to use. Do it today. Get a game plan and go for it.
- Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
We all do it, even if it is not intentional. With the popularity of social media, it’s hard not to. Scrolling through Facebook, seeing everyone posting about new jobs, houses, babies, cars, vacations, and their wonderful life while I’m sitting on my torn leather couch eating vegetables wrapped in a burrito that expired two days ago and I’m bound to make a comment like, “How the hell did she afford that house?” or “There’s no way she didn’t photoshop that bikini pic?”
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not the envious type. I’m not a hater. In fact, I’m quite the opposite. I want to see everyone do well. But I am human and sometimes when I find myself far from the goals that I have set for myself I tend to give in to the idea that I am far behind everyone else in life. I often have to tear myself away from the phone and say I’m forging my own path and that wherever they are in life is because they have been working on their goals longer than I. Besides, who needs 6 bedrooms in a house anyway?
When I started to step up my financial game, I found that I was comparing myself to someone I know who just kills it in investments, real estate, and side hustles. And then I realized that he has had 20+ more years of experience than me. There is no comparison. I’m not at the same level, yet.
Stop comparing yourself to others, it crushes your self-confidence. Take your own path on your own time. Set your goals. Ignore negativity. Keep your head up.
- Keep Learning
No matter where you are in life never stop learning. You could be starting a business, maintaining a business, a stay-at-home mom, fresh out of college, it does not matter. Learning gives you confidence.
I have gained so much confidence in this new career venture by learning about all these new aspects of my business. The writing part is easy. It’s all the other business stuff that I did not know that has boosted my confidence. I’m proud to say that I am able to make changes to my website, have a simple understanding of html, and became knowledgeable about SEO. Tackling new learning has instilled in me the sense that I can handle what comes next.
Set goals to keep learning. To keep moving forward. If you have a successful local business, ask yourself what I can learn next? How can I reach more customers, grow my social media, or start selling through e-commerce? Conquered the local art scene? Then what can you do to expand your presence?
- Sense of accomplishment
Every little task that you complete towards your bigger goal is going to give you a sense of accomplishment. Trust me. When you stop the negative thoughts and start working on your goals then great things will happen. When I launched my social media accounts for TCL, I thought what if I can’t make new connections or if people leave ignorant comments? How am I going to maintain my own social media when I am busy helping others do the same? But once I got my social media accounts up and running, it was such a sense of accomplishment.
When you know you are following your passion, improving yourself to be better than you were yesterday, when you know what you are doing means something then you get a sense of purpose. I have another awesome reason to wake up in the morning. I’m excited to get into my craft room, turn on the computer, and help others with their businesses. Maybe I don’t have every aspect of my business model complete yet, but just knowing that I am heading in the right direction and that if I keep crushing my goals, I will get there gives me great purpose and meaning in my life.
- Create Art
Since I am a creative person you might have thought I made this up, but there is actually a study that says just 45 minutes of creating art improves your self-confidence. Yes, being creative improves your self-esteem!
Building art confidence leads to confidence in your daily life. When you can create with your heart and put it out into the world and not care about what others think then that spills over into other parts of your life. I know it has for me.
Art has helped me build confidence. Between making art, staying away from negativity, and accepting that failure is a part of the process I have gained so much self-esteem. I am strong enough to bounce back, go in another direction, and learn from mistakes. Art has been a big part of that growth.
Art is so influential in helping with self-confidence, there are books and various art therapy exercises that you can do.
Not sure how to get creative? This post will help you get started.
What are you waiting for?
Now it is time to implement some strategies for you to build your self-confidence. Pick the strategies that you are most comfortable with and ones that you feel you can apply to your daily life. Stick with it for a few weeks and see how it improves your self-confidence. Comment on this post below and let me know how it goes!
